entry 34!

As another year is only 18 days away and there are times when everything feels like it’s slipping through your fingers, like the world has lost its color and left you in a place of endless monotony. Your mind, once sharp and vibrant, is clouded with fog, making even the simplest tasks seem insurmountable.

The joy you once found in life—whether it was in people, hobbies, or even the small moments—has faded into the background, leaving nothing but a hollow shell. You move through the motions of daily life, ticking off boxes, fulfilling obligations, but it all feels so mechanical. There is no passion, no excitement—just a sense of drifting without purpose.

The weight of the silence in your heart is deafening, and even the smallest spark of hope seems like a distant, unreachable dream.

Everything that once brought light to your world has turned gray, leaving you with a pervasive emptiness that is hard to shake. It’s a place where joy feels impossible, where the connection to others seems strained, and where you’re simply existing without truly living.

Yet, despite it all, you continue. You move forward not because you want to, but because it’s all you know to do. You go through the motions of life, a shadow of who you once were, driven by a silent will to just keep going, even when it feels like there’s no reason left to. It’s a slow, heavy endurance through a landscape that feels barren and lifeless. But in this numbness, there is a quiet resilience—because even though everything around you seems gray, you still find a way to keep going, not knowing what awaits you beyond the fog. Like I’m writing this words with all this gray things within my mind. So Cheers!!